Alien Abductions The Truth Is Out There

Thought bubble pondering alien abductions...

Ever wonder if all those alien abductions are really part of their…SPAY & NEUTER program?

Posted in Humor | 1 Comment

Some mornings you wake up and ponder

Some mornings you wake up and ponder

Some mornings you wake up and ponder; If… is enough or if something even stronger is needed to
clean up that gene pool…

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Restroom and cel phone ettiquette

urinalsBeing at an age where I’ve seen and heard a lot of strange things, I find it odd the use of cel phones in the restroom public or private a bit annoying. However, honestly what you do in the privacy of your own home is of no concern to me. It is when you presume to treat a public space as if it were your personal domain that I take issue.

Earlier this afternoon while shopping at Sam’s Club I found myself in need of a visit to the throne room. A few minutes after I settled in my neighbor’s phone began to ring in a loud acoustic guitar strumming and brass band kind of fiesta music. Honestly I thought he was just going to ignore it but on the fifth ring he answered the phone. Immediately after saying hello some one flushed a toilet which was so loud that it was painfully obvious to the other party that this gentleman was indeed in the bathroom. Amazingly this brazen individual said;

“Hello. I am in the bathroom, call me back in a few minutes, ok?”

Why this amazes me is that not only did he a) answer the phone and stating ‘I am in the bathroom…’ demonstrating his utter and complete contempt for the person on the other end of the call. I mean what could be lower than essentially telling someone over the phone, “Hey I am glad you called because I wanted you to know that my poo is more important than talking to you right now.”

Suppose it could’ve been worse he could have call the other person to announce his coronation… ;-S

Unfortunately for this poor person that was not enough. In lieu of saying that he couldn’t talk  and that he would call back, he told the recipient to call him back. That is like saying, “Not only is my poo more important than you, but I can’t be bothered to call an insignificant life form like you. So if you want to talk you better call me to boost my ego and make me feel even more superior than you!”

Honestly, I bet when he sat back down he started tweeting about the phone call. “Can you believe Bob called me while I was on the toilet? I mean who does that? Seriously who calls anymore?”

In either case a few minutes later he finished his business and wouldn’t you know as he’s flushing the toilet the phone rings again the same loud acoustic guitar strumming and brass band kind of fiesta music. by the third ring he answers, “Hey, ok what’s up?” as he marches out the door without even pretending to wash his hands; I might add.

Sadly this is true story is a clear sign of the decline of humanity.

Has this ever happened to you? Share your experience in the comments.

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

During the Blackout of 2003…

gas powered blenderI was in the basement office of a longtime client working on either their Exchange mail server, their MSSql Server or their SAN. The building facilities people were working on the 440VAC power system to connect a new printing press. I had just received permission to take down the servers for maintenance and my contact was standing next to me when I shutdown the equipment. Ironiclly as I hit the power button and the equipment shut off so did the lights.

I look around in the dark and said, “I didn’t do it…”

There were approximately 40-50 people working in the offices of this space and it was every bit as pitch black as you’d expect a basement to be.  Fortunately I had a mini LED flashlight on my key ring so that we could find our was to the stairs up because obviously the elevator was out. Continue reading

Posted in The story of me | Leave a comment

StartUps vs Established businesses

cheese rodentsEarlier this morning my daughter pulled some Cheddar Bunnies out of the cupboard for a trip with her friends to the beach. Unfortunately this started me thinking about my business experiences over that last few years. I made some friends with some young and really brilliant programmers. We used to refer to these snacks as ‘Cheese Rodents.’ Ok I came up with the name but it kind of stuck because it was quirky and forced people who head it to think for a moment about what it was. The company was rather large StartUp by the name of Etsy, and of course they had all kinds of snack and fresh fruit to keep you fueled up and productive.

Today it seems that everyone and their brother has a cool new market disrupting StartUp these days. What I find amusing about all of this is that when I started Olivent Technologies, llc in 2007 it was a startup only we never called it that. In fact for the last six years it has been one of the leanest startups I’ve ever encountered. Probably because it’s initial beginnings were for very different reasons than the business model it has evolved into. Continue reading

Posted in It's Business As Usual | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

The Vulgar Unicorn

Thieves’ World Vol 2 “Tales from the Vulgar Unicorn” Courtesy of Wikipedia

In the early days of 300 baud modems long before the internet was a household phenomenon there lived a digital subculture known as the bulletin board system or BBS as the cool kids called it. Only there weren’t really many cool kids hanging out on this digital underground. For some of you who are familiar with AOL you might remember the days of dial-up connectivity and how difficult it was to convince your parents to spring for a second line just so you could chat with your friends. Imagine a time before even AOL.

It is in this domain that I grew up, back in the dark alleyways of early 1980′s cyberspace. My cousin Rob and I used to spend hours connecting to different BBSes to play online games, searching for cool tech and chatting with other people of the cyber realm. At some point it dawned on us that we could host our own BBS. In fact when Rob proposed the idea and offered for me to be a co-sysop with him I thought he was joking. But somehow he convinced his mom and dad to spring for a dedicated phone line and we fired up the Apple IIe with a 300bps modem to take our first test run.

After the initial tests proved we could run something he asked me what should we call it? He wanted something cool and different then Bob’s BBS. Without missing a breath I turned to him and said why not call it ‘The Vulgar Unicorn?’ Continue reading

Posted in The story of me | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments